Learning To Say ‘No’ at Times in a Live-in Relationship


Living together with your partner is a dream come true for many. Many have planned it and many are looking forward to it. You and your partner have long known each other, you are familiar with his/her interests and everything else you should know about. But a live-in relationship can be a totally different affair altogether as you do not know what it would feel like staying with your partner all the time. 

Once you shift from being a couple into a live-in relationship, things will change manifold. You will find yourself not being used to your partner’s interests, his/her way of managing the household, various dilemmas, and choices you’ll have to make, and much more. Even at times, an unmanaged division of household chores will bother you or your partner. This will then result in a mismatch of ideas and thoughts and numerous conflicts at times. All your dreams of a perfect live-in relationship will then become dull and your relationship will turn toxic. Moreover, you or your partner might even consider moving out of your coliving space and both of you will have to bear the losses unless you’ve considered preparing a backup plan. 

This is where evading your boundaries of hesitation and saying a ‘No’ come into play. ‘No’ —  this may seem a negative word for all couples in a live-in relationship. All your dreams of a perfect relationship and a perfect life partner may seem to fall apart —  is what you might believe if you say a no to him/her. Saying a no might demolish the castle of dreams you’ve been building for a long time, with your life partner in it. But, by giving him/her the right to make all the decisions, you might make your partner the sole authoritarian of your life. You will end up giving away your freedom and will lose control of your life if you do not learn the subtle art of shaking your head at times in a live-in relationship. 

Couples staying in a live-in relationship might find speaking or hearing the word ‘No’ from their partner hard. It might seem a harsh word, you or partner would dare say! It may seem like a venture which would come with a lot of bad consequences, but believe me —  this just isn’t the case! Most couples believe in the concept of ‘Less Disagreements, Less Conflicts’ in a live-in relationship but this relationship often turns abusive. We often come across cases of domestic violence against women just because in India, their male counterparts become the sole authoritarians of their life after marriage. Women lose their independence and identity just because they do not tend to resist and utter the simple two-letter word of ‘No’. A research conducted by the NCBI in 2016 revealed that a median of 41% of women experienced domestic violence during their lifetime. The study was evaluated for the cases of violence against women over 50 and the live-in relationship was a major scale used here to infer the results. 

Saying a ‘No’ might be a harsh thing at first and you might feel hesitant about it. But once you have evaded the boundaries of your hesitance, you might actually end up opening-up to your partner. You will then be able to easily tell him/her about how you feel and things might become easier for you and partner in your live-in relationship. Not convinced, let’s make things easier by understanding a few points down below. 

Are You Losing Your Freedom Of Choice?

Losing Freedom Of Choice in Live-In Relationship

Are you losing your freedom of choice?  It’s a major question you should consider asking yourself if you are in a live-in relationship. There will be good and bad times for you and your partner while you both are in a relationship. But things will change considerably once you decide to pack up and move in together. Your choice, interests, and priorities —  all will witness a sudden shift. When in a relationship, you want your partner to care for you and cherish all big moments with you. But have you considered getting some space to make your own choices independently? If not, you are losing your freedom of choice to your partner. You are giving him/her authority over you and the freedom of deciding everything in your life. 

All relationships are forged from the bricks of mutual understanding. You must consider this before moving into a live-in relationship with your partner. You need to support each other in all the important decisions of life and value his/her decisions to cement all the gaps building up because you haven’t been honest enough in the relationship. You need to balance all the gives and takes in the relationship as you do not want it to be doomed. But at times, you will even have to say a no to some things to a certain extent and talk about it to your partner, giving him/her the proper reason behind your disagreement. 

Is Your Live-in Relationship Turning Toxic?

For a relationship to stay healthy, you need to make several adjustments in life. These can include coping up with your partner’s choices, viewing things from his/her perspective, and many more. But, is your live-in relationship turning dull and toxic because of it? You need to consider it and delve into deep thoughts, asking yourself this question time and again. This is because it’s a matter holding a great deal and if you can’t uphold your relationship, you might end up making it dull. You might consider moving on in your life and a situation like this might affect the choices you make in your life.

Adjustments are of prime importance in a live-in relationship —  there is no doubt about it. You’ll have to make a lot of them, sometimes with your partner or sometimes with his family and friends. But you don’t want your partner to control your life and would want to make an independent choice as an individual. If that’s not the case, you will definitely face conflicts in ideas and often end up indulging in a fight with him/her. As a result, your relationship will turn toxic and you will definitely consider breaking up and moving on in your life. This will cost you emotionally and impact your life moving forward. This is the reason why sometimes disagreeing with certain things with ‘No’ is important for you and your loved one.

Don’t Over-compromise In A Live-in Relationship

Over Compromising In A Live-In Relationship

All relationships involve compromises and if you’ve decided to move in a live-in relationship with your partner, they hold prime importance. Remember much like doing business, living-in with someone and that being your loved one, gives and takes are important. When you give it all, you must expect and ask your partner to do the same. Compromises should come mutually from both ends and should be balanced. If in the relationship, only you are the one giving it all, your partner will expect you to compromise more. This will be followed by a series of expectations and longings, which you won’t be able to deny every time, whether it’s your will or not. And, finally, there will come a time when you’ll have over-compromised and end up losing a say and value in your live-in relationship.

Compromises are a must in a relationship and so are little disagreements. By sometimes saying no to your partner, you won’t affect the relationship but agreeing to each and everything will surely affect it. You will lose your say and freedom of choice. And on the other hand, certain disagreements with ‘No’ will not only make you trust your partner more but will prove to be the foundation of a healthy relationship.

Setting Boundaries In A Live-in Relationship Is A Must

Setting Boundaries In Relationship

You have moved into a live-in relationship with your partner to understand each other better and in the long-run plan to live as life partners. But, you must learn to set some boundaries as well. Though when in a relationship, you have to give it all and be truthful to your partner and expect him/her to the same. Setting boundaries and limits in a relationship hold importance as well. Remember, you also have your identity as a person. You have your own set of goals and choices that you have to take care of. Some people might ask, why do you need to make individual choices while in a relationship? But you must consider it if you want a healthy relationship. You can do by uttering a simple word of two letters —  ‘No’. 

Most people argue that saying no in a live-in relationship will set boundaries between you and your partner. But this isn’t always true. Setting these little boundaries will actually help you build and uphold a healthy relationship by adding the value of trust. People often say that moving into a live-in relationship with your partner will make you happier but it can even make you feel lonelier if you don’t say a no to certain things. 

Now that you’ve grasped why saying a ‘no’ at times in a live-in relationship is important, you are ready to make your relationship healthier. You can now easily have a healthy coliving with your loved one, built with trust and mutual respect of choices. And, what better way to move in with your partner in a live-in than Colive? So, why wait? Delve into a variety of options available in Bangalore for couples with premium amenities only on Colive